Not work related…

Lesson I learned today :

Do not lose that funny looking little metal thing that came with your car.

It will be the key for your locking lugnuts. Your dad will call you very very pissed off and embarassed that the car guys had to look through your disgusting car, to not find this important little thing. And they will have to go to the dealership and beg them to take the locking nuts off, drive the car back to the shop to unmount the old tires and mount the new ones.

BUT I have shiny new pretty tires that will last for more miles than my car because my Dad is a rockstar!

Breakfast…

Question of the day : guest looks at breakfast buffet then looks at my boss  and says “Is this a self serve?”

… No. We just display all of the food for shits and giggles.

Uggggh

DIAMOND MEMBER!

Me on the phone with my regular guest. Dude walks in the door. Shoves his rewards card in my face.
“I’m a DIAMOND MEMBER”
…”Linda? Can you hold on a sec? Ok thanks.” Look at Dude
…”Ok? Are you checking in?”
“Maybe. I need to use your business center.”
…”Sure.”
“Oh. That’s it? No argument? The hotel down the street wouldn’t let me.”
…” Mmmm. Nope? It’s a computer it’s not really a big deal?”
“Yeah. YEAH! Why couldn’t they just let me use it?”
…”did you shove your rewards card in their faces?”
“Uhhhh….. Maybe?”
…”mmm hmm. So then. You are welcome to use the business center.”
“Thanks….”

Lol. Sometimes I wish people would approach each other better. Get back on the phone with Linda she goes “who the hell was that?” And I just laugh.

Stay Classy…

Whats that scumbag Niagara Falls lady? You want to put 8 kids in the jacuzzi suite? Thats cool. You better believe when you are standing at the desk I will announce to the people that you kept up all night :

“oh, this is the lady who’s children kept you up half the night. So you can thank her for your awesome stay. Ill give you a coupon for your next stay to be cheaper.”

The woman who was kept awake says “Huh. I guess your kids are older now and you dont have any control over them anymore. Thats sad.”

ZING!

Yeah. Embarassing people has its merits. Asshole.

Holidays…

Canadian dude just called about rates for Saturday. Told him. Asked about Sunday and said

“I don’t know about you guys but its a Holiday here Sunday.”

Yep. Yep it’s a holiday. Easter. Christmas. Kind of the same everywhere.

Geniuses

Oh we have genius mode happening today.

Lady comes to check in. Cannot find a reservation. Ask if its under something else. Nothing. Check my other systems to see if there was miscommunication somewhere. Not there either. She huffs at me and goes to car to get cell phone with conf #.

Brings back conf page with snotty attitude. Read the page.

reservation was for 3/20. Is now 3/26. Demands refund. Tell her she can have 50% off todays rate. Not messing with something that was charged over a week ago.

More snottiness.

Not selling you a room lady. Don’t want miserable people who cannot EFFING READ.

Carnies

SO… There are Carnies in the hotel. Carnival Workers. Or a petting zoo in this case. They have been a nuisance for two days. And they still have a whole other day to stay.

One of the Carneys just came up to the desk…

“Good Morning, How are you?”
…”I’m just ducky!”
“Oh! We have ducks at the petting zoo. They have white heads, looks like they are wearing a hat. They are good eating too! So good with carrots and potatoes and….”
..”O_o…”

What? What just happened there? The petting zoo people eat their animals? …..

I’m better at posting on Facebook than on here….

A collection of the best ones from the past few months since I suck at updating here…

“Can I just leave the snow on the side of my car?”
…”I’m sorry?”
“The snow? I don’t have to brush it off right? It will just melt?”
…”Uhhh…”

What?

____

“What time is checkout?”
…”11.”
“How far am I from North…Tondawunda?”
…”It depends on where in North TONAWANDA.”
“874 Oliver St.”
…”About 12 minutes.”
“Half an hour?”
…”12 minutes.”
“15 Minutes?”
..
“Oh.” ……

Are you guys sending people here to screw with me???

___

Guy just walks into lobby. Reads breakfast sign- “Breakfast is from 7-10:30 am”

Walks up to me “So..uh I guess breakfast starts at 8 then?”

Me “O_o”

___

…” I just need a signature here. You made your reservation for two people, so there is an extra person fee of $20.00 plus tax for the third person.”
“WHY?”
…”It’s a standard practice. It covers the cost of facility usage and breakfast”
“That’s stupid. You’re stupid.”
…”I assure you that I am not stupid. If you like I can cancel your reservation. That may happen anyhow if you don’t change your attitude.”

Witch.

___

My bosses son and his friends are playing on the lobby computer. They are 7 and 8 year olds. So the one sits in the desk chair and the other one jumps on his lap.

“AHHH Why are you sitting on my lap!?”
…”You’re in the way!”
“SKIN ON SKIN CONTACT. AWKWARD!!!!!”

Where do they learn these things?

____

Woman walks into lobby with son behind her

“Gooood moooom gooooo!” In that snotty whiny voice.
I laugh and say “I have duct tape if you need it” tee hee
“Did we come up and ask for tape?”
…”No. I was talking about.. nevermind.”
“Oh. My son. Yeah that’s none of your business”

….Sorry lady. Was cracking a joke. Since you obviously don’t discipline your kids and let them speak to you however they want. Let’s see how that works out for you in ten years.

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Dear Canadian dude in lobby with Buffalo Bills Sweatpants – you HAVE to wear boxers when you wear pants like that. Please. For the Love of God.

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