Snow

…”Thank you for calling….”

“….Hello?”

…”Hi.”

“Is this the uh. hotel?”

…”Yes.”

“In Niagara Falls?”

…”Yes.”

“Is it snowing there?”

…”Yep.”

“A lot? Like how much? How long is it going to snow?”

…”Umm Well it’s snowing. And its sticking as of right now. How can I help you?”

“Is it going to snow tomorrow?”

…”I’m not sure ma’am. How can I help you?”

“Well is the snow going to stay?”

…”Ma’am I just don’t know. You could check the weather channel maybe but they are usually wrong…”

“But I have reservations Sunday! When do I need to cancel by?”

…”Tomorrow at 3pm.”

“But what about the snow?”

…”What do you mean?”

“Should I leave like 4 hours early?”

…”I don’t think so?”

“Well what if it keeps snowing? Then can I cancel later than 3pm?”

…”Well you could. But we would charge you.”

“Even if it’s snowing???”

…” Ma’am. It’s Buffalo. We drive in a foot of snow if our cars are tall enough. Snow doesnt stop much around here.”

“But what if I can’t make it there???? Your’e going to charge me? What if this is a storm??”

…”Ma’am the cancel policy is because I am guaranteeing that I have a room for you and you are guaranteeing that you are going to be here. Snow, Fire, Tornado or Zombie Apocalypse.”

“YOU HAVE ZOMBIES???”

…”No. It was a joke. Besides they dont like snow.”

“really???”

…” …Yes.”

“Oh ok then I guess we will be coming.”

Some days…

I’ve recently been volunteering with our local SPCA. Also planning a fundraiser for them. On top of my 60 hour workweek. So I have been a bit tired. Possibly cranky also. Not exactly sure the following is my fault -.-

 

Nebraska “I have reservation”…. is Russian? 

… “Ok. What is your last name?” 

Nebraska “Nebraska.” (Obviously not last name. Obviously cannot post names of the stupid/mean/evil/mentally challenged guests.) 

…”Ok. Just sign here…”Spiel Spiel.. “Thanks for staying with us!” Nebraska is not listening. Nebraska is playing with his cellphone and not making eye contact. Nebraska is going to be the guest that asks me 9000 questions, the answer to which I have already given in spiel. Already dislike Nebraska. He walks away. Not listening to directions for his room. Greet next guest. 

..”Hi! Do you have a reservation?” Am checking in nice guy. Nebraska practically climbs over him. 

Nebraska “I need copy of that paper I signed.” 

…”Okay? Well it’s a registration card. We haven’t charged you. You booked through expedia and they are the ones who charge you.”

Nebraska “That paper has charges associated with my credit card. GIVE ME A COPY.” 

…”Sir that’s not a problem.”As I am printing it out “Just to let you know the only reason your card would be charged is if you smoke in or destroy the room. “

Nebraska “Give me a COPY!” 

..”Here.” Ooooh. Just wait. 

So I apologize to the next guy. Check some more people in. About an hour goes by. 

Phone rings. 

..”Front Desk?” 

Nebraska “You need to bring me some takeout menus.” I have a lobby full of people checking in….

..”Sir I can’t leave the desk right now you will have to come down.” 

Nebraska ” Click.” 

Oookaay. Continue checking people in. Normal work stuff. About an hour goes by. Pizza delivery guy comes in. He’s on his phone. Goes through lobby, wanders back on his cell phone “Room what? 217?” Goes back up ramp and upstairs.

 

Phone rings. Nebraska is screaming. 

Nebraska “WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME THEY DONT TAKE CREDIT CARDS???” 

..”Sir I didnt tell you anything about the pizza place. You never came down to get a menu.” 

Nebraska “You have to charge my credit card down there and pay this guy.” 

..”No. You need to come take money out of the ATM.” 

Nebraska “Its a creeedit caaaard. I cant take money out of the ATM.”

..” You woooould if you remembeeereed your piiiin number.” Click. 

Pizza delivery guy comes storming through lobby swearing. No pizza. Uh oh. 

..”What happened?”

Pizza ” Have to bring his credit card to the pizzeria. And run it.” 

So pretty much this asshole makes them deliver a pizza. Never asks for a total. doesn’t realize they dont take credit cards. (obviously if the girl didn’t ask for your card, she doesn’t take them over the phone douchebag.) Screams at pizza guy. Screams at me. Let’s pizza dude leave with his cc. Pizza dude comes back with cc and dude…

Doesn’t. Even. Tip. Him. 

 

Merry Frigging Christmas.