Double Whammy

” are the rooms safe back there?”
“Oh ok good. I Just had to quantify that.”

A- That is not how the word “quantify” is used.
B- Even if it wasnt safe- nobody in a hotel is going to tell you their hotel isnt safe. Thats like McDonalds telling you their food is poison.



“And my credit card is a bank of america visa card. The number is : ####”
…”Sir. Dont tell people what kind of a card that is. I have your phone number, address, zip code and your card number now. Thats not safe. Just say its a visa card when you call people ok?”
“Oh. I never thought of that. Wait! You arent going to rob me are you?”



From Chuck

A customer asked me to open her bottle of ketchup for her today, because she didn’t know how. I calmly popped it open.
When she proceeded to say that she still didn’t know how it worked, I contemplated squeezing it all over her face and leaving for the day.


I’m not the only one who deals with the stupid. 

Beep Beeep

Breaking into truck drivers rooms so they get on the road on time- illegal
Breaking into truck drivers rooms because they drank so much their friends cant wake them up – not illegal
Breaking into truck drivers rooms because their friends want to mess with them? Hilarious. But Illegal. 

This one was hungover. At least he wasn’t dead/ 

“Bill. Get up!”
…”Oh. Hey girl! Whatchu doin in here? Did I oversleep again?”
“No you old bastard not yet. Good thing your friends are looking out for you.”

The fact that he thinks its normal that I break into his room to wake him out of a drunken stupor IS a bit disturbing. lmao


Jess had this one

Lady: “does it rain like this here all the time?”
Me: “not really.”
Lady “Oh, i thought maybe cause ur under the falls u got more rain.”
Me: “…….blank stare……..”