I was sitting in the office trying to make the direct billing from our central office match what we had in the computer system last night. I was on hour number 12 and Lisa came into the office where I am sitting. 

Lisa “This woman wants all 4 of her rooms upgraded.” 


Lisa “Okay. Shes some crazy little Asian lady.”

I pull up the cameras. Theres like 12 of them crowded around the desk. No the person checking in does NOT need help from 11 other people. Back up. 

Lisa goes back out and then comes back in. 

Lisa “They want a manager.”

Give Lisa the death stare. Grumble about pain in the ass guests when I should be home already. 

“Hi how can I help you?”

Pain in the Wang “I am PLA-TI-NUM member. I get upgrade!”

“Yes you are a PLA TI NUM member and YOU get an upgrade. One room. Not all 4.”

Pain in the Wang “WHY?”

“Because that isn’t how it works.  YOU get the perk because YOU are the member. We don’t upgrade everyone. And if you want the upgrade then your room is not going to be near the other rooms.”

Pain in the Wang “Okay. First floor, by all these guys with upgrade?”

“NO. Second floor, in the front, your friends are second floor by the side entrance. Is that what you want or do you want to keep the original room and stay near them?”

Pain in the Wang “No, I take upgrade. Ok?”


Pain in the Wang “The OTHER hotels give me upgrade.” 

“Well the OTHER hotels did not spend and HOUR on the phone with your WIFE arguing about a price for four rooms. You Shouldn’t even be GETTING the upgrade OR your points because it’s not a qualified rate. and THEN your WIFE called back and harassed Lisa for ANOTHER hour on a day that we were busy.”

Pain in the Wang “Oh.” Sad face. 

They go to their rooms. I go home. I get a text from Lisa :

” Guy in 208 just asked for his room to be moved closer to his friends. FML.” 

I text her back: 



Tip #1 – Asking for an upgrade is okay. But you better not have been a pain in the ass in the first place. Because we WILL put your room in the shittiest location of the hotel and MAKE you like it. Be nice. Also? Bring chocolate. Or something. We would do almost anything for a bar of Godiva 70% Dark Chocolate. Even better if it is the kind that has chili peppers in it. Nom Nom Nom. 


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